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Why Walking is (NOT) a Good Idea

why walking is not a good idea

 

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Before we get into the nitty-gritties of why walking is NOT a good idea, I’d like to make it clear that walking for health is good, but walking as a mode of commute – er, not so good. In fact, walking is one of my favourite activities!

There’s an element of adventure in walking. You never know what you are going to step on next (ugh, a dead rat), who you’re going to bump into (that annoying neighbour who loves commenting about your sad life), what’s going to happen any second (yikes! Just got missed getting hit by that speeding car), or even what you’ll see around the corner (sarcastic tone alert: wow, a new dentist’s clinic – a kind reminder that my teeth need to be tortured). All this is fine, really, seriously, I frickin’ MEAN it okay, stop doubting me!

What’s not okay, and not fine and certainly not dandy are the main menace out on the streets – the PEOPLE!

Yes, your day-to-day common person is the devil in disguise I tell you. Let’s see now, there’s…

THE PENDULUM WALKERS

With arms swaying more vigorously than a pendulum, eyes turned right (and sometimes left or even skywards) march steps, being clones of Lot’s wife in the middle of a busy road, and fans of staring matches – these people are the ones I dread facing while walking my walk.

THE MAGNET WALKERS

Many a times have I come face to face with people who walk straight at me, even after I shift to pass – hello, I’m not a magnet that you have to come attach yourself to me! They also love walking with their chests thrown out, head tilted up, and arms outstretched at the sides – it’s clear they wouldn’t win a beauty pageant with that ‘bleurgh’ walk. They just look like they escaped from a zoo and have syringes lobbed up their backsides.

THE CENTER OF THE WORLD

Then there’s the unsolved mystery of why people love to stand right in the CENTER of entrances! I walk to the station entrance and BAM! I’m smack in the middle of a group of people occupying the entrance who glare at me as I squeeze my way past them. Rascals 😐

THE CRAB WALKERS

There’s also the crab walkers. I call them the crab walkers because they walk like crabs. Have you seen crabs walk? They crawl sideways as they make their way ahead. These people too do the same. It’s like playing dog and the bone with them. They shift to one side, then to the other, doing a sort of crab dance on the road, and they confuse you where they’re heading next, the result being? You end up banging into them as they suddenly decide to do a collision course – or just want some/any kind of bangin’ action 😛 Creeps!

THE SIDE-GAZER WALKER

Besides the above specimens is the side-gazer. I love walking fast, especially when I’m running late, you know. That’s when side-gazers appear the most. As I overtake someone else walking, they turn their heads and stare at me like they’ve never ever seen a race-walk before. Sheesh, they need to brush up on their sports knowledge! And stop staring!

So you see, walking on the road, not such a good idea in a busy town or city. Who said only drivers curse? I hurl the choicest abuses at the above pedestrians when I walk (though that’s mostly a one sided show inside my head) – my glare and frown spell the curses out, so why verbalize it, you know.

hulk

The don’t-mess-with-me glare I direct at rowdies!

I’ve learnt how to deal with these characters to some extent, like I feign shifting to one side, and change direction when I know they’re going to crash into me, or I jut my elbows out just a bit so that they get my elbow heel lightly to nudge them out of my way, any props like umbrella, carry bags are used effectively to stop their swaying hands from hitting me in inappropriate places, and charging like a race-horse really helps in getting people to hastily clear the way.

So far so good, I’m enjoying my walks now though the occasional nincompoop is always present to make my inner hulk rise and POW-WOW them!

Please do share your walking on road miseries with me. We’ll crib about them over tubs of ice-cream or over a cheese sandwich/burger, whatever floats your boat! Until then, safe walking to you, and from me, safe walking to those who come in my way! Grrrrrr….

 

Cheers,

Venice 🙂

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69 thoughts on “Why Walking is (NOT) a Good Idea

    • Heeheee… what can one do, such weirdos exist in our world! They do make for an entertaining topic 😀 and yeah, the elbows are my favourite choice of weapons against these people. Cheers to us 🙂

  1. I enjoy walking miles, observing miles. True, some ruthless drivers can bump you off and I almost averted danger a couple of times! Enjoyed this post on perk and danger of walking.

  2. hahahaha oh dear where do you find these people 😀 I am one of those who end up hitting people… I am really scared of walking in crowded places in case I bump and fall flat on a baby or a child. Crab walkers!! ROFL very innovative categories 😀

    • Hi Rajlakshmi, I don’t find these people, they find me 😀 And don’t get me started on tripping around, I trip, slip and fall too many times to count! Wish you luck on your walking sprees 🙂

  3. upasna1987 says:

    Ha Ha…A nice humorous post with a bit of reality. I too have this habit of walking fast when I am alone and doubtful of people staring at me.

  4. I think I have met everyone of these”walkers”
    I actually enjoy walking ,but creeps ,rude people and crowds put me off.Now I am living in the suburbs off and on and Shockingly enough here the traffic is worse with no pedestrian walkways. So definitely no walking for me.
    I have mini accidents with bicycles who think they are John Abraham in Dhoom
    Enjoyed this

    • Yeah – those Dhoom clones are terrifying with no respect for theirs or other people’s lives! Pedestrian walkways are sometimes used up by vendors and well, trees, lamp-posts and what not. Pedestrians are at danger quite a lot of times.

  5. Hilarious! It reminds me of the time I wrote a post on Benares and how walking the city is the best way to see it but sticking out ones elbows helps to avoid ppl bumping into you… Cheers

  6. Jaibala Rao says:

    Okay finally stopped laughing, so that I can comment. I have perfect examples of all these walkers and I could picture each one as I read your post. Personally I love walking, I used to walk everywhere. Until one day I realised even the footpaths here cannot be walked on.

    • Hi Jaibabla, it’s great to have you here 🙂 I too have always enjoyed walking but like you said, now-a-days the footpaths are not in great shape nor is there enough space, so tackling human traffic does become a challenge.

  7. inquisitivegeet says:

    Haha! Loved reading it. I too love walking but the idea of walking on the road with boys constantly ogling at you as if some Bollywood celebrity has arrived simply shuns the idea of walking on the streets. My MIL goes for her evening walks and buys stuff if need be, and I never accompany her, coz it’s not garden walk but street walk!!

    Cheers
    Geets

    • Well said Geets! Yes, the ogling is something that feels uncomfortable and annoying. No offense to anyone but I found it happen more in UP. In Bombay it’s still not that much but yeah, it is there. If we don’t feel safe walking on our roads then we need a change to happen.

  8. haha lovely observation there Venice. Reading this will now make my walking even more fun and now that you have provided me with creative ways to overcome these hurdles I might give them a try too. But ya I nod vehemently at the walking situation in the cities, almost anywhere, unless you carefully pick your walking time and location, but that can only happen rarely when you are planning a walk and not coming from and going to some place, where you have no other choice but to blend in and use some counter tactics, some of which I gathered here today. 😀

    • Hey Omkar, thanks so much! Yeah, I agree, if you’re out on a simple walk around the park, path it’s okay, but for a long distance, say 2-3 kms. that’s when these weirdos come 😦 Footpaths need to be dedicated only for pedestrians and not vegetable hawkers, stalls and rest. By the way, do share any new tactics for repelling these people. 😀

  9. The tortoise walkers! I hate them the most. They occupy almost the entire walk while walking slower than a tortoise! 😀 If it is in the street, I might have to go around them which means almost to the center of the road to get past them. They walk too slowly & carelessly :/

  10. Aah. There’s all sorts of weird folks walking out there. Best part is that you eventually stop getting pissed & start looking at ways to have a jolly good laugh at their expense :p
    nicely penned.

    Cheers 🙂

    • Exactly, sometimes they really get on my nerves but sometimes in my head i just pass funny comments about them, mean I know but that’s one way to pep up the walk. Even while writing this, I saw them through a humorous lens and that’s how the post came out! 🙂

  11. Knowing me [I’m sure you do by now], I prefer taking the bus. But there are those days when all the buses are filled to the brim and you just don’t have the energy to hang out of such a bus. I walk to the next bus stop, hoping to get a bus with some space to get in. I keep walking, on and on to the next stop, without realising that I have walked a good 5km halfway to my house. That’s the story of my walking. 🙂

    • Hahaa.. that happens to me too sometimes when I wait for a bus (when I do choose to go by them). I just can’t stand waiting at one place for a long time.

  12. Seeing the title, I thought for a while, its related to health or some myth….bu now I understood what it is….so apt for today’s mindset and what is happening around. But that is the beauty of the walk you have mentioned. Glad to connect with you. Keep writing. 🙂

    • Oh… walking is a great way to be int tune with yourself. I find it relaxing, except for these humdinger’s who I wrote about but sometimes they do brighten up the walk with their antics. Do get back to it!

  13. Pingback: Friends Forever – #MyFriendAlexa | 5 Minutes

  14. Hi Venice, beautifully written piece. Walking is close to my heart and when I landed in your place, I was welcomed by this post of yours and I was initially taken back when you had put that (NOT) in the title of your topic. Then I realized you have something interesting up your sleeve..walking in parks has its own charm and walking on streets has its own challenges, indeed we keep encountering such different characters as walkers and everyone has their own story to tell.

    Walking as a mode of commute could be best way to travel to work and get to see things when in a new place but we need to be careful and with the traffic sense and civic sense gone for a ride it is indeed becomes a constant conundrum to solve and we are trapped in our mind in navigating the obstacles rather than deriving the health benefit that is suppose to come to us.

    The pendulum walker to the crab walker I keep encountering them in the park as that is their style and swinging hands while walking is a good way to give a thrust to the motion of walking…walking has so much to offer to us as creative person and our writing goes through a transformation when we are regularly walking close to nature and nurturing our senses and sensibilities…

    Thanks for sharing with us such a lovely perspective on walking.
    😀

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