“I could have danced all night, I could have danced all night, and still have begged for more…” These lines from the evergreen classic song express exactly how I felt when I danced without any inhibitions for the first time in my life. It may not seem like a big deal, but for me, it was Liberating!
You see, I was and still am a shy, reserved person. I love existing in the sanctity of my invisible cocoon, aloof yet connected with others, alone yet never lonely, and quiet yet participative enough when the need arises. I share my innermost self with a few chosen ones whom I dare to trust. Yes, I have few trust issues owing to bad incidents since childhood and through the years.
So, being unsure of whom to trust I don’t reveal much of myself to anyone, except through writing perhaps. Hence, when I let myself go and danced the other night, it was akin to sharing my inner self with everyone present there. I trusted that I wouldn’t be judged, mocked, laughed at or embarrassed by anyone there.
It wasn’t just trust though that made me open up myself that night. For once, I wanted to lose control. I love control – that steady hold over my head and heart in the course of life – I relish it. However, over time I’ve found that things spiral out of your control no matter how hard you try, and when you attempt to control things with all your might, you may just face a down spiral effect and end up burning yourself out. This has what has been slowly happening to me and that night presented an opportunity to me to cut myself some slack, let myself loose, and just revel in the moment.
To friends and family who have known me as a strict abstinent to dance, this is a revelation or the 8th wonder in the world for them. I never imagined myself dancing like that in public, but I did, I enjoyed it, and… I’m itching to do it again!
Since the year has just begun, I decided on the next thing I need to do, and that is *gulps slightly nervously* – talking to clients/new people over the phone. It’s a normal action for most people but me – I get a near panic attack, not kidding. I prefer messaging instead of conversing over the phone. But after feeling free through dance, I would love to overcome this socially restrictive trait of mine this year.
Have you ever done something that you had previously vowed to never do? If you’re a shy person like me, have you ever opened up in some other way and found it invigorating? Share with me, would love to hear from you (so that I know that I’m not the only crazy loony out here)… 😉
Leaving you with Eliza Doolittle in a trance over her enchanting evening dance:
Cheers and a Happy New Year!!