Humour

The Inheritance of A-aa-aaa—choooo!

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tangytuesday - the inheritance of a-aa-aaa-chooo

You know, people inherit a lot of things from their parents and forefathers and such. Good looks, super brains, property, wealth, memoirs, personal items, or sometimes just nothing. Well, I am among those whose grandfather passed on something unique, or maybe not so unique after a quick search on Google. You see, I inherited from my grandfather, his leaky cauldron…er sorry, overdosed on Harry Potter, ehrm, inherited his leaky NOSE!

Yeah, of all the gazillion more useful things he could have given me, he had to give his runny forever sneezing nose! Gawd, the number of times I thought of snipping off the sniffy organ on my face. But it’s my inheritance, carrying the genes and deep history of my ancestors, so cheesy as it may sound, I decided to keep it on. Naah, not really, just couldn’t chop it off! 😛

I had a really good time with my grandfather when he was alive. He passed away when I was around 5 but even so, I’m sure I would have remembered if he had warned me about the nose he bequeathed to me. Even till now, in times of despair, when my nose competes with the Niagara Falls I cry out to my grandfather “Why didn’t you ever tell me about this dreadful piece of S… I mean, sensory organ? Was it a nosey poker in your life? How many times a day would you recommend digging, erm, cleaning it? Also, does it still leak now that you’re in heaven? Lastly, could you ask God to do me a favour and give me a nose that does not sneeze at the slightest provocation?”

Considering doing a séance to get the answers to these deep questions as my grandfather has never replied till now. Hmph!

I could really do with a blessing like this, Grandpa!

I could really do with a blessing like this, Grandpa! P.C: quickmeme

The damn thing is hyper-sensitive all the year round… Every year! It’s the bane of my existence. It draws expressions of disgust, annoyance and downright impatience from people around me. There are times when I feel like retorting “Hello! Imagine just how aggravating it is for ME to bear this ridiculous inheritance, okay. Just cut me some slack!!” or “why don’t we exchange noses and then we’ll see how you like it!” Judgemental pricks!

What I get every time my pretty nose sneezes. :/

What I get from others every time my pretty nose sneezes. :/ P.C: memeguy

The worst is when my nose automatically activates to “full on” mode when there’s an important event I have to attend the next day. There’s just no use of make-up or dressing well when I show up like Rudolph’s red-nosed cousin with a nasty Christmas hangover – all red-eyed, red-nosed, haggard faced, and with droopy shoulders after the onslaught of seven to ten sneezes in a row. Yes, my nose loves spewing mucus in a continuous sequence thus paving the way to my utter embarrassment. And not to forget, a thoroughly soaked handkerchief.

I'm with Calvin on this! P.C: coyotethunder.com/

I’m with Calvin on this! P.C: coyotethunder.com/

Loved ones and people close to me are now pretty used to it and make fun of poor me when I sneeze. You would think that at least they would understand and be more considerate. But hell no, I’m the clown with a natural red nose, so ha ha ha, that’s a fine joke, let’s laugh at her!

Worse is when they behave like the general public throwing me dirty looks and telling me to clear my nose even after I’ve cleaned every inch of it for the 111th time. I mean what do you want me to do, huh? Take a specialized vacuum cleaner to suck out all the snot?! Yeah right, just invent one, gift it to me, and I’ll use it, until then shove your comments up your nose or snot off. Whichever they fancy anyway.

And oh yes, I’ve tried all the natural home remedies available. Prefer them over prescribed medicines. But unfortunately, have not found any permanent solution. Warm water with lemon and honey does help but sometimes all it takes is a whiff of strong, tickly scent or the slightest dust that sets off my nose instantly!

My grandfather was a fine man, but just why he wanted his weepy nose to live on through me is a mystery I haven’t been able to solve and I wonder if I ever will.

Whoops, gotta go now, can feel the sniffles coming on…

A-aa-aaa-... choo... P.C: coolambo.ca/

A-aa-aaa-… choo… Pardon me! P.C: coolambo.ca/

P.S: There’s one good thing about my inherited nose though. It makes it easy for people to present me the perfect gift on my birthday – stacks of handkerchiefs! 😉

Venice 🙂

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12 thoughts on “The Inheritance of A-aa-aaa—choooo!

  1. I think I might end up writing a blog post right here. Let me organize my thoughts.
    1. Congrats on being co-selected in Tangy Tuesday Picks. As I was admiring my name in there, I noticed a very familiar name and the link below that brought me here.
    2. I noticed the Harry Potter reference. Witty one 😀 Potterheads are family. (Did I already know that you were one or is this the first time we are discussing HP?)
    3. “sometimes all it takes is a whiff of strong, tickly scent or the slightest dust that sets off my nose instantly”

    Incense sticks, perfumes, oil smells, soaps, early morning pollens, when the smell of yumm dishes waft towards you and you are totally in love with all these smells but your nose turns nasty. Do these ring a bell? Right now, as I type I am sneezing away to glory. I get these sneezing bouts and running nose at least twice a day and people who aren’t familiar with this, tell me ‘Oh poor you. Caught a cold’. Earlier I used to correct them. Now I let it be.
    It is indeed annoying. This nose 😦

    • Hey Ranjs (hope the name’s fine with you), will answer in sequential order:

      1. Congrats to you too! Read your poem – in love with the simplicity of it! 🙂

      2. I don’t recall talking about it, but I knew from before that you’re a fellow Potterhead 😀 Cheers to that!

      3. O yes… I didn’t want to sound like a complain-pot so didn’t list the innumerable items that set my nose off. But yeah, your list pretty much matches mine. And don’t get me started on trying to explain to people that my “cold” is not contagious, it’s just a sign of nose rebellion.

    • Thanks Meera 🙂 Nice to see you here. And oh, I do catch up with your posts every now and then – they never fail to put a smile on my face!

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